Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
