I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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