cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
