Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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