i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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