I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
