Ambien. No doubt about it.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
