You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
