Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
