Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
