enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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