the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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