this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
