i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
