think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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