____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
