well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize