I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
