Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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