Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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