Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
