i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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