thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
