i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
