He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
