i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
