I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
