I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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