i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
