Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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