I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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