I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm always down for nudity.
i out mim tonsoeep
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