that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
