this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
