His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
