for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
