$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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