In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
