He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
