It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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