I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
