I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
