if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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