ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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