we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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