Sponge bath it is.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
