Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
