Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
