What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
