Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
