He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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