so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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