Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Green mimosas i think yes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
